Eastern Conference Standings Prediction
As mentioned in the previous post, here are my predictions for the East along with a few thoughts for each team. Some thoughts may even be well thought out. Others... well if we're being honest, some teams are a total mystery to me. 14-year old me would have been able to write an encyclopedia about this. I used to pride myself for being able to name at least 10 guys on every NBA roster. Reality hit me when I saw a photo of the Brooklyn Nets pre-season roster and struggled to name 2 guys. Times have changed.
1. Boston, Record prediction: 62-20
The argument here is pretty simple. They won a ton of games last year and they did it without their two marquee players (you know who they are). Nobody in the Celtics front office will admit it, but they were thrilled that Tatum, Rozier, and Brown got a ton of extra reps and extra minutes last year. The Celtics really are one of the best teams in the league and on any given night, any of 6! players could do serious damage. To top it off they also have the best coach in the league and arguably the best GM. Brad Stevens orchestrated so many comebacks last year (some from 15+ down) and got so much out of his scrubs that I'm almost ready to say fun shit like "Brad Stevens should win Coach of the year every year". That title is still held by Pop but this year will really bring it into question. Danny Ainge WILL make a move if he smells blood. The Celtics are set up for both the short and long term and look like they will be in the playoffs for a very long time. If everything I wrote above is not enough to convince you, just take a look at the bottom of this putrid (seriously East, its been like 20 years. Kids born in 2001 think of the East as a B-league at this point) Eastern conference. The Celtics get to play: Atlanta (May as well wear "WE ARE TANKING" on their uniforms), Chicago (Who was pretty shit to begin with, and then they lost Markannen for 2 months), Orlando (LOL), Brooklyn, The Knicks (No Porzingis), The Hornets (their hopes rest on a 74 year old Tony Parker), Cleveland sans Lebron (I have no joke here, they're in for a rude awakening), and Detroit (mediocre since 2007). That's between 28-32 games right there! What would surprise you more? Boston going .500 against this death row? Or 30-2? I didn't even throw the Heat or Wizards into this equation yet, do those teams scare anyone? I think the top of the East will steamroll the bottom and it starts with Boston
2. Toronto, Record prediction: 57-25
This team won 59 games last year until Lebron Thanosed them. The warning signs were there. The Raptors struggled to put away a pretty bad Wizards team (when an 8 seed thinks they can beat you, it just shows the total lack of respect teams have for you). DeRozan also had his annual playoff capitulation. What made it truly hilarious is how people still grouped Lowry with him. There was a game where people were spewing some bullshit about how Lowry and DeRozan were shooting a combined 8/21. The problem with this? Lowry was like 5/9 and DeRozan was 3/12. DeMars latest playoff embarrassment peaked when Dwane Casey (DWANE CASEY! The guy is allergic to adjustment and preaches the same useless concepts that never work) decided to bench his ass and watched as rookie OG Anunoby led a fantastic comeback that was sadly wiped away by Lebron when they chose to not double him. Had they doubled him Cleveland would have had to rely on Tristian Thompson to bring the ball up the full length of the court. Yeah. Instead of accepting his failures and coming out strong the next game, DeRozan completely faded and threw a hissy fit when he got traded. Enter Kawhi Leonard. All bullshit aside (and there is a pretty large amount of bullshit) The Raptors traded a top 25-ish offence only player who was so bad in the playoffs that he made Doug Christie blush; for a top 7 player, former finals MVP, and an absolute monster on the defensive end. The Spurs even threw in a decent 3 and D guy for good measure. So why do I think the Raptors will win less games? I think there will be a bedding in period. Nick Nurse is teaching this team an even better version of an offensive system that turned the raptors second unit into the Harlem Globetrotters. Next, I think the Raptors are smart enough to actually rest players. It was infuriating seeing Lowry and DeRozan playing 37+ minutes in games that the Raptors had no chance of losing. So this year, I think the Raptors happily punt a few wins. There is also the terrifying possibility of Kawhi pulling the same shit he did last year (I don't think he will, but I'm afraid enough of it to drop this team's win total). What I do know is that if Kawhi is healthy and plays at a high level, you won't see teams try to position themselves to play the Raptors. You definitely wont see the lower seed thinking they're better. What you may see is a Raptors team that makes the finals.
3. Philly, Record prediction: 52-30
Now that Bryan Colangelo, along with Kevin Durant has been exposed for having a burner twitter account, can we agree that this is kind of weird? Why do these super rich dudes with some of the best jobs in the world have such fragile egos? It was confirmation that what the fans say actually gets to these guys. People gave Lebron some shit for his comments after the 2011 finals where he said something along the lines of "haters have to go back to their miserable lives and I get to go back to mine" but you know what? I respect Lebron telling it how it is. I wish NBA players would grow a pair and just be honest about their thoughts. No more of this bullshit Russell Westbrook "I just tweeted cupcakes LOLZ" or "account hacked" garbage. Anyways, I think Philly is a good team, I can't see them performing much better than last year. They will lose games because of resting Embiid, they will lose some because they don't have as much shooting or depth as last year, and now teams will be coming after them. If they were to win over 55 I would be genuinely surprised.
4. Milwaukee, Record prediction: 49-33
There are a few teams I am going to be high on this season and the Bucks are one of them. They received a massive upgrade in coaching and Giannis looks poised to be a legitimate MVP candidate. Couple those facts with a weak conference and all ingredients point to a big year for the Bucks. I docked them a few wins because of locker room cancer Eric Bledsoe, and suspect health from some key players (Middleton).
5. Pacers, Record prediction: 45-37
Last year's surprise feel good team. This team really played hard and Oladipo's breakout was not an anomaly. They are going to be good again this season, but record isn't always indicative of team quality. The Cavs exposed this team in the playoffs with a 'double Oldadipo at the top' scheme that the Pacers were somehow unable to crack. Either Oladipo would hold the ball too long, or the guy who he passed to would catch, stand still for two seconds, and allow the defense to recover. I think this season the Pacers take a few steps forward in terms of their schemes and offence, and that adjustment period will cost them a few games. They also will not be catching anyone by surprise again.
6.Heat, Record prediction: 43-39
Danny Ainge famously offered 4 first round picks to Miami for the chance to draft Justice Winslow. I think its safe to say that Danny boy dodged a massive bullet with that one. Miami apparently never stopped looking for a game-changing wing though and they are the team that looks most likely to land Jimmy Butler. According to multiple sources (lets go with.... ESPN so this blog seems legit) the Heat were on the cusp of a trade until Thibs changed the terms at the last second. Until that whole fiasco is resolved, I see the Heat being a fun, but ultimately mediocre team.
7. Wizards, Record prediction: 43-39
I hate this team. I hate how they genuinely think they are better than everyone, even when they lose. Morris has dropped more "the better team lost" quotes in the last three years than anyone else in history. John Wall has every tool at his disposal to be the best point guard in the league but he doesn't use any of them. He ranked among the bottom in the league for things like "movement" and "top speed" (not an option: "giving a shit"). This is not a good formula for any team. They still have enough talent to make the playoffs but beyond that there really isn't anything to be excited about in Washington.
8. Detroit, Record prediction: 40-42
We have reached the point where I really have no idea. ONE team from the bottom of this conference will come out of nowhere and I'm taking Detroit and banking on: Blake Griffin resurgence year plus New coach boost. Now, is there a chance that these guys are like 3-12 to start things off and make me look like a jackass? Yes But I'm rolling dice at this point.
9. Cleveland, Record prediction: 38-44
Really hope some reporter has the balls to pester Tristan Thompson throughout the year. Something like "Hey Tristan, you guys are 11-19, should teams still respect you as a returning Eastern champion?" or "Hey Tristan, now that you are officially eliminated from playoff contention, can teams start disrespecting you?" J.R. Smith holds the title for "fake tough guy" for his pre-season shenanigans where he shoved a guy, ran away, and then when it became apparent that there was no chance of punches being thrown, he started laughing. After the game he did what NBA players are elite at: talking shit on twitter. I predicted them to win 38 games, but I hope they win 18.
10. Hornets, Record prediction: 36-46
The corpse of Tony Parker and some rookies are all that separates this team from last year's version. Yeah I'll keep them here.
11. Knicks, Record prediction: 32-50
They're finally young, they finally play hard, and they now play smart and look for good shots, they can even play some D. They have officially rid themselves of the Melo era!
12. Brooklyn, Record prediction: 29-53
For the first time since 2013 they have a first round pick. GM Sean Marks is being praised for not being a dumbass. Bonus prediction: Some dude on this team will wind up being a fantasy basketball steal
13. Orlando, Record prediction: 29-53
The Magic essentially traded places with the mid 2000's Raptors. Hell, they even keep picking up Raptors garbage. The Magic are a great example of what the Raptors would have been had Masai Ujiri not taken over. They would definitely have given Biyombo 70+ Million. That much money for a guy who can't shoot, dribble, or pass is so absurd. I don't even have a joke here, what the fuck were they thinking? Orlando has enough decent players to make noise (read: not lose 60 games) this season.
14. Bulls, Record prediction: 24-58
Best arena, uniforms, and intro music of a terrible team
15. Atlanta, Record prediction: 15-67
This team isn't even pretending that its trying to win games
Western conference to follow on the weekend.
1. Boston, Record prediction: 62-20
The argument here is pretty simple. They won a ton of games last year and they did it without their two marquee players (you know who they are). Nobody in the Celtics front office will admit it, but they were thrilled that Tatum, Rozier, and Brown got a ton of extra reps and extra minutes last year. The Celtics really are one of the best teams in the league and on any given night, any of 6! players could do serious damage. To top it off they also have the best coach in the league and arguably the best GM. Brad Stevens orchestrated so many comebacks last year (some from 15+ down) and got so much out of his scrubs that I'm almost ready to say fun shit like "Brad Stevens should win Coach of the year every year". That title is still held by Pop but this year will really bring it into question. Danny Ainge WILL make a move if he smells blood. The Celtics are set up for both the short and long term and look like they will be in the playoffs for a very long time. If everything I wrote above is not enough to convince you, just take a look at the bottom of this putrid (seriously East, its been like 20 years. Kids born in 2001 think of the East as a B-league at this point) Eastern conference. The Celtics get to play: Atlanta (May as well wear "WE ARE TANKING" on their uniforms), Chicago (Who was pretty shit to begin with, and then they lost Markannen for 2 months), Orlando (LOL), Brooklyn, The Knicks (No Porzingis), The Hornets (their hopes rest on a 74 year old Tony Parker), Cleveland sans Lebron (I have no joke here, they're in for a rude awakening), and Detroit (mediocre since 2007). That's between 28-32 games right there! What would surprise you more? Boston going .500 against this death row? Or 30-2? I didn't even throw the Heat or Wizards into this equation yet, do those teams scare anyone? I think the top of the East will steamroll the bottom and it starts with Boston
2. Toronto, Record prediction: 57-25
This team won 59 games last year until Lebron Thanosed them. The warning signs were there. The Raptors struggled to put away a pretty bad Wizards team (when an 8 seed thinks they can beat you, it just shows the total lack of respect teams have for you). DeRozan also had his annual playoff capitulation. What made it truly hilarious is how people still grouped Lowry with him. There was a game where people were spewing some bullshit about how Lowry and DeRozan were shooting a combined 8/21. The problem with this? Lowry was like 5/9 and DeRozan was 3/12. DeMars latest playoff embarrassment peaked when Dwane Casey (DWANE CASEY! The guy is allergic to adjustment and preaches the same useless concepts that never work) decided to bench his ass and watched as rookie OG Anunoby led a fantastic comeback that was sadly wiped away by Lebron when they chose to not double him. Had they doubled him Cleveland would have had to rely on Tristian Thompson to bring the ball up the full length of the court. Yeah. Instead of accepting his failures and coming out strong the next game, DeRozan completely faded and threw a hissy fit when he got traded. Enter Kawhi Leonard. All bullshit aside (and there is a pretty large amount of bullshit) The Raptors traded a top 25-ish offence only player who was so bad in the playoffs that he made Doug Christie blush; for a top 7 player, former finals MVP, and an absolute monster on the defensive end. The Spurs even threw in a decent 3 and D guy for good measure. So why do I think the Raptors will win less games? I think there will be a bedding in period. Nick Nurse is teaching this team an even better version of an offensive system that turned the raptors second unit into the Harlem Globetrotters. Next, I think the Raptors are smart enough to actually rest players. It was infuriating seeing Lowry and DeRozan playing 37+ minutes in games that the Raptors had no chance of losing. So this year, I think the Raptors happily punt a few wins. There is also the terrifying possibility of Kawhi pulling the same shit he did last year (I don't think he will, but I'm afraid enough of it to drop this team's win total). What I do know is that if Kawhi is healthy and plays at a high level, you won't see teams try to position themselves to play the Raptors. You definitely wont see the lower seed thinking they're better. What you may see is a Raptors team that makes the finals.
3. Philly, Record prediction: 52-30
Now that Bryan Colangelo, along with Kevin Durant has been exposed for having a burner twitter account, can we agree that this is kind of weird? Why do these super rich dudes with some of the best jobs in the world have such fragile egos? It was confirmation that what the fans say actually gets to these guys. People gave Lebron some shit for his comments after the 2011 finals where he said something along the lines of "haters have to go back to their miserable lives and I get to go back to mine" but you know what? I respect Lebron telling it how it is. I wish NBA players would grow a pair and just be honest about their thoughts. No more of this bullshit Russell Westbrook "I just tweeted cupcakes LOLZ" or "account hacked" garbage. Anyways, I think Philly is a good team, I can't see them performing much better than last year. They will lose games because of resting Embiid, they will lose some because they don't have as much shooting or depth as last year, and now teams will be coming after them. If they were to win over 55 I would be genuinely surprised.
4. Milwaukee, Record prediction: 49-33
There are a few teams I am going to be high on this season and the Bucks are one of them. They received a massive upgrade in coaching and Giannis looks poised to be a legitimate MVP candidate. Couple those facts with a weak conference and all ingredients point to a big year for the Bucks. I docked them a few wins because of locker room cancer Eric Bledsoe, and suspect health from some key players (Middleton).
5. Pacers, Record prediction: 45-37
Last year's surprise feel good team. This team really played hard and Oladipo's breakout was not an anomaly. They are going to be good again this season, but record isn't always indicative of team quality. The Cavs exposed this team in the playoffs with a 'double Oldadipo at the top' scheme that the Pacers were somehow unable to crack. Either Oladipo would hold the ball too long, or the guy who he passed to would catch, stand still for two seconds, and allow the defense to recover. I think this season the Pacers take a few steps forward in terms of their schemes and offence, and that adjustment period will cost them a few games. They also will not be catching anyone by surprise again.
6.Heat, Record prediction: 43-39
Danny Ainge famously offered 4 first round picks to Miami for the chance to draft Justice Winslow. I think its safe to say that Danny boy dodged a massive bullet with that one. Miami apparently never stopped looking for a game-changing wing though and they are the team that looks most likely to land Jimmy Butler. According to multiple sources (lets go with.... ESPN so this blog seems legit) the Heat were on the cusp of a trade until Thibs changed the terms at the last second. Until that whole fiasco is resolved, I see the Heat being a fun, but ultimately mediocre team.
7. Wizards, Record prediction: 43-39
I hate this team. I hate how they genuinely think they are better than everyone, even when they lose. Morris has dropped more "the better team lost" quotes in the last three years than anyone else in history. John Wall has every tool at his disposal to be the best point guard in the league but he doesn't use any of them. He ranked among the bottom in the league for things like "movement" and "top speed" (not an option: "giving a shit"). This is not a good formula for any team. They still have enough talent to make the playoffs but beyond that there really isn't anything to be excited about in Washington.
8. Detroit, Record prediction: 40-42
We have reached the point where I really have no idea. ONE team from the bottom of this conference will come out of nowhere and I'm taking Detroit and banking on: Blake Griffin resurgence year plus New coach boost. Now, is there a chance that these guys are like 3-12 to start things off and make me look like a jackass? Yes But I'm rolling dice at this point.
9. Cleveland, Record prediction: 38-44
Really hope some reporter has the balls to pester Tristan Thompson throughout the year. Something like "Hey Tristan, you guys are 11-19, should teams still respect you as a returning Eastern champion?" or "Hey Tristan, now that you are officially eliminated from playoff contention, can teams start disrespecting you?" J.R. Smith holds the title for "fake tough guy" for his pre-season shenanigans where he shoved a guy, ran away, and then when it became apparent that there was no chance of punches being thrown, he started laughing. After the game he did what NBA players are elite at: talking shit on twitter. I predicted them to win 38 games, but I hope they win 18.
10. Hornets, Record prediction: 36-46
The corpse of Tony Parker and some rookies are all that separates this team from last year's version. Yeah I'll keep them here.
11. Knicks, Record prediction: 32-50
They're finally young, they finally play hard, and they now play smart and look for good shots, they can even play some D. They have officially rid themselves of the Melo era!
12. Brooklyn, Record prediction: 29-53
For the first time since 2013 they have a first round pick. GM Sean Marks is being praised for not being a dumbass. Bonus prediction: Some dude on this team will wind up being a fantasy basketball steal
13. Orlando, Record prediction: 29-53
The Magic essentially traded places with the mid 2000's Raptors. Hell, they even keep picking up Raptors garbage. The Magic are a great example of what the Raptors would have been had Masai Ujiri not taken over. They would definitely have given Biyombo 70+ Million. That much money for a guy who can't shoot, dribble, or pass is so absurd. I don't even have a joke here, what the fuck were they thinking? Orlando has enough decent players to make noise (read: not lose 60 games) this season.
14. Bulls, Record prediction: 24-58
Best arena, uniforms, and intro music of a terrible team
15. Atlanta, Record prediction: 15-67
This team isn't even pretending that its trying to win games
Western conference to follow on the weekend.
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